“I know for sure that all experiences contribute to who we’re meant to be”- Oprah

I read that quote and I thought about some of my childhood experiences. I grew up ,as most people, in a very dysfunctional environment. But in that uncomfortable place was born all the creativity I possess today. It’s in my DNA but was developed in an environment of adversity. I was an only child and a product of a broken home. My Mom and I lived with my aunt and her children. I spent most of my childhood trying to stay out of the way and being as ” good ” as I could be and not being a bother to anyone. This behavior has not served me well in adulthood because I’ve spent most of my life trying to get approval and taking care of others so as to not inconvenience anyone. Hence, I tend to think of myself last.

Well that’s changing as I now am challenged by issues with my health that need my attention. I’m forced to look at myself first and take care of others second. This isn’t about selfishness but survival. As women ,we have this tendency because we’re born relational and are nurturing too. When you take care of yourself , then you have a supply of something to give to others. I never really learned that lesson until recently.

I remember when I was a child I received as a gift from an aunt, a box of stones. She bought them while on a trip. I think a lot of you will remember the box divided in squares and pieces of rock glued in the squares with the proper names of the rocks printed below. Well, I’m here to tell you, the love affair began for me in that moment. I treasured that box and began creating my own collection. I put down cotton to cradle my precious finds and labeled everything I could identify. At that point I was sure I would become a geologist when I grew up. I never became that geologist but have become an avid collector of beautiful stones that sit in divided trays waiting to become part of a fabulous design and creation. Nothing has changed from that meagre beginning, it just got more expensive.

I’ve thought about the stones I own and the adversity that formed them. The heat, cold and pressure that is put upon them to form such beautiful designs and shapes. How they’re mined deep within the bowels of the earth,to be brought out only to be slabbed, cut ,grinded into shape and polished to bring out their best. Gemstones cut to a brilliant shine, all waiting to be placed in someone’s creative jewelry design. Yes, us and the stones aren’t too dissimilar. I heard this said on tv last night and I wrote it down because it’s true. “ Pressure equals developement “. That’s how we all are,all of us , being developed in adversity. Don’t lament the past ,as out of it and the adversity, came your story, your beauty, your texture.

The intricate pieces of my life I thought were ” oh so bad “, became my teacher ,to make me into who I am today. I don’t lament my childhood anymore and what I didn’t have because out of adversity a real “gem” was formed ……….Me !

Talk soon,
Claudia Speed